Brides over fifty: the wedding gown issue

Photo by David J. Green. Dress by Tammam Model: me

The news that grey haired model Cindy Joseph got married at the age of sixty-two is a reminder not only that people do get married at any age but that a lot people tend to  marry  their long term partner well into their fifties and later -  a (male) friend of mine is just doing so next week and neither he nor his wife-to-be are spring chickens nor are they  new to each other, after twenty years together.
As you get older, marriage is rarely the outcome of a whirlwind romance - even Joseph and her partner waited for a good seven years before tying the knot. Sure, we have had the example of Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch, she pushing sixty, he well over eighty. They did not waste time after meeting and immediately decided to wed. It is rumoured that alongside their mutual attraction, financial considerations had come into play. No matter. She looked radiant on her wedding day.
What I am trying to say is that marriage after a certain age is a decision not taken lightly, weighing all the pros and cons. But even though it is a well thought out decision, there is absolutely no reason why the wedding day should be dull and no reason whatsoever not to wear bridal finery, if one is so inclined. It is after all a very special day.
Photo by Alexis Negrin, Styling by Florencia Martinez, model: me (not a bridal outfit)

The problem is that often women, maybe because it may be the second time round, will settle for something very low key, just an elegant dress that could double up as a cocktail dress. If I were to get married tomorrow, I would not want to look like Cinderella at the ball, that would not be to my taste. What is the alternative?Nothing suitable seems to be available and if it is,  the way it is put across is problematic, as I will explain.
I think this should be a wake up call for designers of bridal wear. My message to the designers is this: your best clients are actually going to be older women  and you should have a whole range of beautiful wedding gowns that can be worn by clients of all ages and show them on models of all ages.
Who says that white is inappropriate ? Joseph wore a lovely, simple, white gown and looked fabulous.
I have a modelled a couple of times some bridal wear, most notably for Tamman. But have found that I am more likely to be asked to model 'mother of the bride' ensembles than actual bridal wear. Somehow we still have this fiction of a virginal young bride  perpetuated within the entirety of the 'wedding industry'  - a subset of the fashion industry.

"Sincerity" dress for older brides. Google images
Even when the dress is targeted at older brides, it is actually modelled by a woman who might be in her early thirties at the most, as in the instance of the dress above or in that of another  gorgeous white dress to be found at Debenhams, also targetted at older brides. Why?
We have had older women modelling high fashion, even bikinis and looking very glam.
I would love to see  older models, well over forty, modelling bridal wear, rather than (sometimes) ghastly 'mother of the bride' or 'mother of the groom' dresses.

Comments

  1. When my mother remarried, in her fifties, she wore a blue, knee-length dress that was (in my prejudiced eyes) very beautiful but didn't look like a wedding gown at all. I don't think she would ever have bucked tradition enough to wear white again, yet indeed there should be good options that look like wedding dresses for women "of a certain age."

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  2. I'm remarrying at the tender age of 49 years, 11 months and 1 week and would never consider a white wedding dress. They are for the first time brides in my humble opinion. This time round, I'm wearing what makes me feel fabulous. And it sure ain't white....

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    Replies
    1. Congratulations! But, with respect, I think you missed the point of my post. No one has to wear white if they do not wish to do so. But they should wear it if they want to. I personally loved the black wedding gown that was shown at the V&A a couple of years ago and would love to wear black if I were to marry again. Black goes well with my hair and it makes me feel fab. White became the color for wedding gowns only with the Victorians. In Bali it it is the colour one wears at a funeral so there you are. Bottom line: wear it if you like it but there is no obligation to do so

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