You shake your bum too much


Photographer: Martina O'Shea
She is ninety-five but she looks a little younger. She attends the old people day centre where I am contracted to deliver some dance therapy for the next ten weeks - still training, still studying, still having to go and offer free sessions on a regular basis and be assessed on what I do.
Easier said than done. Last year I was with addiction sufferers, mainly drug and alcohol,  and was glad when it ended, they really gave me a hard time. This year I have chosen to work with older clients -  is it because I have an elderly mother and am trying to come to terms with the fact I cannot be with her as often as I would like? A projection, or rather, a transference? Perhaps.  Next I'd like to work with women that have been in abusive relationships but I am not quite ready for it, I am still licking my own wounds. My final training will be with forensic, if I can build up the strength to endure being  in jail for one day a week for eight to ten weeks. The words of the young man I once met at a police station, while waiting to be interviewed, still resonate with me  "once that door is locked behind you, you'd do anything to get out".
So there we were, the lovely ninety-five year old, with a headful of  hair whiter than mine and a couple of younger women, including a very wispy  Russian lady who can dance hundreds of folk dances and is keen to demonstrate them - she did that at the first session and even sang and I struggled to keep up with her.
Photographer: PWPImages
We began the session and She did not want to take part, on account of her swollen ankles and other problems. She said she'd sit and sleep through it, and graciously "allowed" us to use the space. Which we did. We were in the middle of some game, listening to the music of the Andes and going off on an imagined climb when She screamed "STOP. You are doing it all wrong". We stopped, one of us turned the music down and She said: "None of you can dance. You all shake your bum too much" And then She told us how to dance the waltz and began to oversee that we were doing it properly. My job is to hold the space for the group, so this was fine. There were a few grumblings and some heated arguments on steps, and from there the session developed in a totally unforeseen manner. At the end of it all She turned to me and said that I needed to go to dance school again because I had been taught badly. You cant shake your bum like that, she repeated. I left the day centre feeling quite amused.
On the way back home I stopped at a shoe shop to get myself a pair of new high heeled sandals for pole dancing  and a pair of warm, flat boots for everyday use.

Photographer: Martina O'Shea
Shaking one's bum when dancing was regarded, once upon a time, extremely distasteful. And not just in European culture. I still remember the horrified look of my Indian classical dance teacher (I took some classes when travelling through India) when he saw me moving my hips - no, no, you dont ever do that, they only do that in Bollywood! This was accompanied by a grand sneer.
Now that I pole dance I shake my bum quite a bit - we do a bit of shimmying, not belly dancing style, but we do it as we get closer to the pole, then stick the bum out, take a step and do a spin. I love it.
Then when I go for my contemporary dance class the first thing I am told is that I should tuck my bum in, Alex what are you doing, the bum out is bad for your posture, bad for your spine and not at all 'artistic'- your pelvis should be in line with your shoulders and as you contract you push the breath down and as you release it comes up. Or something like that, I always struggle with the breathing technique.
So here I am, trying to reconcile different ways of being with my bum. The good thing is that at least I know when to tuck it in and when to stick it out, when to shake it and when to  keep it still. A small achievement, no doubt, but one nevertheless...

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