Jealous wives and girlfriends

Photographer: Nagib El-Desouky

It happens to all art models at some point in their career. Some wife/girlfriend of the photographer (or artist) they have worked with will send them an irate email, saying 'Never contact my husband again' or some such. Hey,wait a minute. These men who take up art nude photography (for many only a hobby) and look for models who can pose nude are always the ones that contact the model and pay for the session. It is hardly ever the other way round! Why take it out on the model?
When I first started modelling I was proactive in looking for photographers whose work would enhance my portfolio, and did a lot of TF shoots, now I am less bothered, I usually get enough offers to fill my schedule quite quickly. So I am not a model who seeks out photographers, really. And if and when I do it, it is ONLY for modelling work.
I got one such emails yesterday. The woman who wrote it was obviously very upset to the point of saying and doing irrational things.  Maybe she did not know her husband did art nude photography and  decided to take it out on me, even demanding I should stop blogging (!). At first I laughed. Then somehow I felt really sorry for this woman who was probably reacting like that out of a sense of betrayal. The photographer in question is a real gentleman, who booked a good studio for our shoot, which took place many months ago. I never heard from him after that, there was no reason to keep in constant touch, he kindly sent me some lovely prints and images on CD which he even allowed me to postprocess myself, he was not too bothered with who did what, so he said. Incidentally, this post does not have his photos, I really would not want to leave clues as to who he is.

Photographer: Nagib El-Desouky

Of course we planned to do other shoots, but these are things people always say, I know of photographers who routinely write references on model sites saying they will certainly book another shoot  very soon with the model they have worked with and then that never materialises, nor do people particularly want it to happen, not always. It's just a polite thing to say.
Jealousy is a very difficult thing to handle. I wrote about it in an earlier post when I was still co-blogging with Unbearable Lightness  I will not repeat here what I said in that post.
I simply want to say again that jealousy is a difficult emotion, one that feeds on fear and anxiety. It can turn someone totally blind to reason. I have myself been affected by it on occasion, in the course of relationships in which I felt somewhat insecure about myself and my role. I would suddenly feel as if a rug had been pulled from under my feet, unloved, unwanted, going round and round in circles with the same thought, feeling angry, knowing I was making things worse, probably imagining things and not being able to stop myself.
When I first began nude modelling I felt quite insecure, even though I always came across as having  heaps of confidence. I was very vulnerable and I sought the approval of people I held in high esteem.  I was  devastated when some of these people completely withdrew from me, some were unkind and even abusive.

Photographer: Nagib El-Desouky

But rejection has made me much stronger.
The woman who wrote to me reminded me in some way of situations I went through in my life. I felt her pain even though I could not help laughing at the silliness of it. I do hope she becomes reconciled with the whole idea that modelling nude for a photographer does not automatically mark the beginning of an affair!

(all photos modelled by Alex B)