Ageing disgracefully





The agency I am signed with, Grey Model Agency, has come up with the idea of an Advent Calendar. Twenty-four of its  models are featured in short videos, released on each day in the run up to Christmas on the GreyModelTV  YouTube channel, with a shorter version on Instagram. 
I am number 1, so the video is out today. It may not be immediately clear but one of my tasks is to explain the significance of the number I am associated with. To me 'one' is the self, myself, and this is what I say.
As the video had to be edited to last only a few minutes, some of the answers seem disconnected but one of the things I do  is to query the concept of 'ageing gracefully',  I feel that one has every right to 'age disgracefully', whatever that means.
I do increasingly  feel that the idea of a 'timeless beauty' and the plethora of advice given about  how to age is a bit much and it is putting too much pressure on older men and women. For some it is just about being healthy, a very worthy goal. I certainly would not advocate a life of excesses, but I am loath to  tell people how they should live their lives. From a very young age we are constantly told we should be of this body shape, of this ideal height, of this ideal weight, our teeth should be this luminous shade of white and perfectly aligned, our complexions should be glowing,  our hair should...you name it.  Please give me a break! I do not want to grow old constantly worrying about my looks and feeling inadequate because I  do not match the ideal.
I am now in my early sixties and more than the way I look I am concerned about Alzheimer and dementia for which there are genetic causes as well as environmental ones - I have seen it in my family and it is not fun to witness the decay of a loved one. I occasionally worry about being able to make an informed choice about what to do if I turn out to be affected. I also do consider my limitations  more frequently than I did in my youth and more objectively because whether you like it or not we do not live forever, I would not even want to if it were possible!
Thus I can't help feeling some irritation by what is turning out to be a pressure to age in a certain way.
I think that ageing gracefully and ageing disgracefully are a continuum. sometimes in life we are graceful, sometimes we are not. There should not be any qualifier attached to ageing. We just age.


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