Self/image*

 Photographer: David Gibson

I started art nude modelling in 2008, I have written in an earlier post how I came to it.  I enjoyed it and still do. I was amazed at the many different interpretations of me that could be seen through the photographs. My first shoot astounded me, my second disappointed me a little, my third one elated me.

There are  photographs in which I am clearly acting out a character and then those which according to the photographers that took them reveal a bit of me, what I offered them - what they saw, I'd say. Not necessarily an untruth, only a momentary truth. I usually enjoy seeing others' perception of me, sometimes I find it disturbing, sometimes abhorrent. What I see in the mirror is not me, what I see in photographs is rarely me as I know myself and yet it is. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you really see? When you look at images of yourself, what do they tell you about yourself, if anything?

One of my favourite models is Cindy Sherman. I should say artist because she  models for herself, in other words she takes self portraits - it's interesting, is it not, that when you take self portraits you are an artist, when you model you are not quite an artist. But hers are self portraits with a difference. She interprets characters for herself but her portraits are never personal, they are conceptual theatrical performances for her own camera.

Photographer: Mark Varley

The photographic self portrait has an illustrious tradition inherited from the figurative arts.  From Renaissance to contemporary times painters have attempted a representation of themselves in a series of very complex modes of self portraiture, of which art historians have developed a whole taxonomy.
Women artists such as Frida Kahlo in the 20th century invested  their self portraiture with their own psychological and physical suffering and took it to a different level.

Photographers started to take their own portraits as soon as photography began.  All the famous names in photography at some point did it, Newton, Avedon, Warhol and so on.

Sherman, now 56,  began when she was still a student and became famous when still young. She explained to the New York Times in 1990, "I feel I'm anonymous in my work. When I look at the pictures, I never see myself; they aren't self-portraits. Sometimes I disappear."

 Photographer: Gregory Brown

This absolutely intrigues me and fascinates me. In May 2009 I acquired a Nikon D70 which was about to be discarded by its owner. Last February I got hold of a Bronica GS-1.  I am about to make a transition from modelling for others to modelling for myself. I am excited. I want to use the camera in ways that noone can do for me, as a way to probe the depths of my soul. I will be the many different 'me-s'  who are the very women I encounter in my own life everyday. I have been experimenting but my technique is still quite poor.

But I have plenty of time ahead of me to accomplish my goal. I hope to find, as I embark on this journey, a few like minded travellers willing to share tips.










* Title borrowed from Amelia G. Jones' book published by Routledge in 2006.

(All photos modelled by Alex B.)