Test for X company Photographer: Hanna Maule -Ffinch @Germaine WalkerI am in a flux at the moment, waiting to hear about jobs, people and situations that need to be resolved. So here I am, making and unmaking plans, thinking of this and that. You know what I mean, if x happens I will do y, if x does not happen I will do z. I needed some space to think and clear my head and the great indoors was the only thing I could manage, apart from extended visits to the gym and my beloved pool. Meanwhile, as I sit at my desk, I look around and spot tons of things that need sorting, the carpet needs a good clean, my books need tidying up. I will not even mention the bedroom and the clothes I can no longer fit into my wardrobe.
It is spring time, at last, and this seems to be the time of the year when people begin to take life changing decisions. I got a call earlier from a friend who urged me to go on a course she has just done with a life coach, two intensive days of soul searching and exercises to rebuild her confidence. When I politely enquired about the cost involved I literally had to hold on to my chair. For that figure I could easily fly to an exotic location. Now, that would restore my confidence in me and faith in mankind. To each their own, I suppose.
"bore, a boaster and a bully, friendless, joyless, loveless, demanding, controlling, snobbish, racist and mean, even to her own dad. I expect a fan would have seen a programme about a determined, strong young woman preparing to be a great leader. She did that – divided. Rest in peace".I should explain that at one time this guy and I were together but then I left him because being with him was utterly boring - we were just too different. It was a long time ago, these things happen and people move on. He used to drink a lot and that did not suit me at all. Later, he developed some paranoid delusions and has since spent his life moving in and out of hospital. There is nothing I can do about these emails, apart from confining them to the junk folder or block them. I did consider involving the police and did so, at some point, but he is unwell and innocuous, according to his carer. Answering his messages is counterproductive. I was quite upset this morning and was thinking of reporting him again but for what? he has simply threatened to write a book in which all my deadly sins will be detailed. However, he has not yet written anything. And even if he does, who on earth would want to read his drivel? Who would publish it? I am no celebrity. Delusional thinking.
Once again I blocked the email address, deleted the messages and decided to let it be.
I think I shall go for a swim, that will cheer me up, while I wait...